My Husband’s Anger Is Ruining Our Relationship
Are you worried about your husband’s angry outbursts? If so, you’re not alone. A national survey of nearly 34,000 people found that about 7.8% of adults have trouble managing their anger, and men often report higher levels of anger. When a husband struggles with anger, it can deeply affect his family and relationship and that is when you must begin to ask yourself where you can find anger management therapy near me.
If your husband’s anger is harming your relationship or making you feel unsafe, keep reading to learn ways to handle the situation, take care of yourself, and find the support you need to move forward.
What Can You Do About Your Husband’s Anger?
When someone is angry, it’s natural to want to react in kind. However, responding with more anger can make things worse. Instead, try to stay calm and handle the situation in a way that keeps you safe and helps reduce the anger.
If your husband is angry but not directing it at you, you might be able to change the topic or suggest taking a break. If you can’t calm him down, it might be best to leave the room or your home for a while. When you come back, remember that his anger is not your fault.
Steps to Handle Your Husband’s Anger
1. Be Honest with Him
If your husband’s anger is hurting your relationship or family, it might help to talk to him about it. Choose a safe and calm time to share your feelings. You could write down what you want to say and discuss it when things are less tense.
Use “I” statements to express how his anger makes you feel. For example, say, “I feel scared when you get so angry,” instead of blaming him with statements like, “You always lose your temper.” This approach can help prevent him from becoming defensive and open up a healthier conversation.
If his anger is severe and you’re thinking about leaving the relationship, consider talking to a counselor first. A professional can help you find the right words and plan a safe way to move forward.
2. Encourage Him to Get Help
Anger is a normal feeling, but it becomes a problem when it’s not controlled. Many things can
cause anger, such as:
- Insecurity
- Anxiety
- Stress
- Depression
- ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder)
- OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder)
- PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)
- Bipolar disorder
- Trauma, guilt, or shame
Understanding what triggers his anger can help him manage it better. Suggest that he talk to a mental health professional who can help him find the root cause of his anger. When you bring up this idea, do it during a calm moment and explain that you want both of you to be happier.
3. Walk Away When You Need To
If your husband is so angry that you can’t have a conversation, let him know that you need to step away for a few minutes or longer. You can go for a walk, leave the room, or run an errand. Taking a break can help you relax and give him time to calm down before you return.
4. Practice Self-Care
Living with someone who has anger issues can be stressful. It’s important to take care of yourself to stay healthy and strong. Here are some ways to practice self-care:
- Exercise regularly
- Practice mindfulness or meditation
- Get enough sleep
- Eat healthy foods
Taking care of yourself can help you handle the stress better. You can also encourage your husband to take care of himself, which might reduce his anger outbursts.
Remember, being compassionate doesn’t mean you have to accept being treated badly. Your safety and well-being are important.
5. Set Boundaries in Your Life and Relationship
Setting boundaries is crucial for a healthy relationship. Let your husband know what behavior you will not accept. For example, you could say, “I’ve noticed you get very angry after work. If you direct your anger at me, I will leave the room until you calm down.”
Stick to your boundaries even when it’s hard. If you don’t, your husband might continue to disrespect them. Remember, his anger is not your fault, and you don’t need to apologize for setting boundaries.
6. Get Out of an Abusive Situation
There is a difference between having a husband with anger issues and having an abusive husband. If your husband is abusive—whether physically, emotionally, financially, or mentally—you need to prioritize your safety and that of your children.
You might need to leave the relationship to stay safe. This doesn’t always mean you have to end the relationship forever, but you should remove yourself and your children from the immediate danger.
Abuse is never your fault. You deserve to feel safe and respected.
7. Talk to a Therapist About Your Husband’s Anger
A therapist can help you find a way forward in your relationship. It can be hard to see what’s right and wrong when you’re dealing with an angry husband, and this can make you feel isolated. A therapist can listen to you without judging and give you professional advice based on your situation.
If your husband is willing, couples therapy can help both of you heal and strengthen your relationship. If you prefer, individual therapy can give you the support you need to move forward on your own. If your children are affected by your husband’s anger, a family therapist might be a good option.
If you’re interested in therapy but don’t want to go to an office, consider online therapy. Research shows that online therapy is just as effective as in-person sessions. You can talk to a therapist through video chats, phone calls, or messages, making it easier to get help from anywhere.
Final Thoughts
Dealing with a husband’s anger can be challenging and painful, but you don’t have to face it alone. By being honest, encouraging him to seek help, setting boundaries, taking care of yourself, and seeking professional support, you can improve your relationship and ensure your own well-being. Remember, you deserve to feel safe, respected, and happy in your relationship.
If you need help, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or a support group. Taking the first step can lead to a healthier and happier future for you and your family.